The Journey Home and the Preparation

The journey home was strange and everything felt very surreal. Had I really just booked breast reduction surgery? Was it really going to happen after all these years? I wanted to be happy but, like so many other times in my life, I was guarded against it in case it all went wrong. My self-protection was kicking in again.

We began to discuss my preparation.  There is absolutely no point in going for breast reduction surgery when I'm over weight and plan to lose it because I'll just end up with saggy boobs.  I also need to lose the weight, as I'm now seriously getting back into running and actually have a 10k race booked in England on 5th May.  So, I need a strict and sensible diet and an achievable fitness regime.

I have no real idea how much I weight, as I haven't weighed myself since December 2013, when I was 139lbs.  I know I am a LOT more than that now.  Ideally, I would like to be around 147lbs before my breast reduction but I don't want to know how much I weigh now, as that would be too depressing.  So, we hatched a plan.


My partner would weight me each day, first thing in the morning.  The only thing he will tell me is whether I have gained or lost and how much by.  To lose weight, I'm going back on the Slimfast diet.  I know a lot of people don't like this but I've done it before and it works for me.  It ensures I get all the vitamins and minerals I need, as well as enough calories.  It's structured and I like that.  I can't achieve my weight loss through eating a 'sensible diet' as I don't really like food much (it's just an essential means of getting fuel, to me) and I have Bulimia.  So, Slimfast it is.  As well as this, I'm going to run 4 times a week, workout with weights, spin, row etc.

I'm very fortunate that, at home, I have a gym with commercial equipment; treadmill, rower, spinning bike and cross trainer (elliptical).  I also have weights, a gym ball and resistance bands.  So really I have NO excuse for not achieving my goal.  Add to this that I'm a complete stats geek and you'd think I have this in the bag, right?  Wrong.  I also have to deal with Exercise Induced Asthma, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, stress and loneliness.  What a freak I am!!

Anyway, to overcome all this negative stuff and give me real focus, I'm blogging my way through it.  And, being responsible to you, whoever you might be, gives me the drive to keep going.  So, thank you for reading.