45 Days To Go

I had an absolutely draining day today.  I didn't get my run done yesterday and it's not going to get done today, either.  Still, with my potentially dangerous two days over, I only gained 0.3 lbs!!  I'm very pleased with that.  I expect to have a slight gain tomorrow after today's food but then I'll be back to normal and back to weight loss and fitness gain  :)


Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

46 Days To Go

I have a potentially bad two days ahead of me, in terms of eating sensibly and getting enough exercise.  These are two intense work days with business lunches and evening meals.  I'm hoping the stress will burn up the extra calories!  I have a 4 mile run scheduled for later, so that will burn up some, too.

I gained 0.1 lb since yesterday.  I think I can live with that!  I need my hair cutting soon, so that might balance out that little bit  ha-ha!

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47 Days To Go and a Happy Day

I'm getting tired of not getting stats from my OH fast enough, so I've decided to run this show myself.  I looked at all the pics I'd taken of my weight and got all the stats on a spreadsheet.  First of all, I'm absolutely devastated about how much I weigh.  I haven't weighed this much since I was 9 months pregnant with my eldest!!  Anyway, the good news is that I've lost 4.2lbs over the last 5 days  :)  Obviously some more fat has turned into muscle, so the total fat I've lost will be more.  I'm thrilled!!  I also feel much more in control of things now and that makes me feel far more powerful over my weight loss and fitness.  This is a happy day!  :)

I'm off now to my gym to get some serious working out done.  Catch you later!

3.37pm  Just finished my workout.  thoroughly enjoyed every second.  I felt so motivated and pumped with energy.  I could've done so much more but I know the dangers of too much too soon and, besides, I have a 4 mile run tomorrow!  I'm loving today!


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48 Days To Go and a Great Weight Loss So Far!

I am so sorry that I've missed a few days out here.  The reason is that my OH is away and so I've not been able to monitor my weight.  For those who are new to my blog and haven't read the previous ones, my other half is weighing me every day but, because I'm so overweight, he isn't telling me how much I weigh.  What he does tell me is how much I have gained or lost, so that I have an idea whether I'm on track or not.  Since he's not here, I can't do that.  However, this morning I had the idea of weighing myself and taking a picture of the scales, without actually looking at them.  Then I sent him the pic and he sent me the result.....and what a result it is.  I've now lost a total of 5.9lbs in 3 weeks!!!  I'm so happy  :)  I know that I've actually lost more in terms of fat, as I'm doing so much more exercise and, therefore, turning fat into muscle which, as we all know, weighs heavier than fat.

Anyway, I can  really feel a difference, too.  My clothes are getting looser and my boobs, which is the whole point of this, are becoming less 'full'.  I'm really pleased with how things are going and hope that I might be giving some inspiration to someone else out there.  If I'm giving YOU inspiration, let me know!

So, today I have a 3 mile run planned for later and I might try to fit some hill walking in on my treadmill, too.

4.26pm  I've just been sunbathing in the garden and this has made me think more about my breast reduction.  No longer will my boobs try to hide under my arm pits when I lay on my back!  And I'll be able to sunbathe topless without ending up with a white patch where my boobs hang down!!  I really can't wait to get this done.  There are just so many positive aspects to it.




Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

53 Days To Go

Horrified!!!!  I went out last night for a meal and ate too much.  This morning I've gained 2 lbs!!  I am so angry with myself for being so stupid.  Today will be dedicated to exercise to get rid of this weight.  I know some of you will be saying that it doesn't matter because it will come off again and I should only really weigh myself once a week but I just can't think like that.  I have to know what's going on all the time.  If I got to the end of the week and had put 2 lbs on I'd be angry for not knowing mid week and having the chance to do something about it.  By getting weighed every day, I can do something immediately to correct any errors.  It's just the way I work.

Anyway, I have a 4 mile run planned for later, which will be interesting as it's throwing it down with rain.  At least it's not freezing cold, too!




Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

54 Days To Go

No difference in my weight today.  It's not surprising, given the amount I ate last night!  I suppose I'm lucky I didn't actually gain anything!!

It a lovely cool day here today, so I'm not suffering too much with sweaty breasts!  I will be later, though, as I have to try to run 3 miles.

I'm feeling a bit disappointed that no one is following my blog yet so, if you read this, please follow me!  And leave me a comment.  Tell me how to make it more interetsing.  This is my first ever blog, so I don't really know what people expect.  Let me know   :)


Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

55 Days To Go

Gained 0.1 lb this morning.  I can live with that  :)  I'm definitely feeling better about myself, though, and have much less weight on my chest already.  The surgeon's job will be a little easier!



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56 Days To Go and 2 Weeks on My Diet

I am ecstatic!!!  Over night I've lost 1.2 lbs, making a total loss over 2 weeks of 5.2 lbs!!!  I couldn't be happier.  I can really feel this, too.  I feel lighter, slimmer and more energetic.  My breasts are feeling 'emptier', which is fantastic!  Less work for the surgeon and I may be able to do away with needing liposuction  :)  I'm thrilled with my new scales, too.  They give me so much information.

I have a 3 mile run planned for later and may try to get some rowing in, too.

5.25pm Really not feeling great at the moment.  I feel like I'm fighting a cold.  What with that and having to go out for a meal this evening, it's going to be tough not to comfort eat!  However, I'm going to keep myself focussed and not give in to temptation.  I'm doing really well so far and  don't want to let myself down.

No exercise today.  Well, a short run and that was it.  I feel too poorly  :(  I need my bed.



Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

57 Days To Go

So, I bought some new scales.  I got some Weight Watchers ones that also measure my Body Fat, BMI, Body Water and Bone Mass.  Fab stats for a Stats Geek!  And, some good news.  My OH just got weighed on both scales and there's only 0.2 lbs difference between them.  So, although my weight loss has been static and then a big loss from yesterday, that is in fact almost right!  Phew, I was worried the new scales would say I weight more than I thought!!



Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

58 Days To Go

Very disappointed today.  My weight is exactly the same.  Either I need to step up my game or buy some new scales!  As it is, I'm going to do both.  Something has to be wrong somewhere.  I've definitely lost in terms of measurements for my chest, waist, hips etc., though.  Anyway, new scales and a bigger push on the diet and exercise front from now on!


Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

59 Days To Go

Wow, my days to go are now in the fifties!  I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this.  As my running picks up, my body is getting more toned and I'm starting to feel much better about myself in general.  I no longer look like a huge fat slob and am starting to look and feel like a runner again!

With all this going on, my weight has stayed the same again today.  Although I'm a little fed up with this, I know that I'm turning fat into muscle.  My calf muscles especially are becoming very defined and my quads are much firmer.  I just have to keep up my mantra of 'muscle weighs heavier than fat', otherwise I'm going to start getting depressed at my lack of weight loss!

8.43pm No running today.  I've swapped it for tomorrow, so I've just done 2 miles brisk walk instead.



Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

60 Days To Go

No weight loss today but no gain either.  I'm kind of ok with that, although I really wish the scales would tell me different.  I definitely 'feel' like I'm losing weight and my clothes are feeling looser, so I must be turning fat into muscle.  My running pace is increasing ever so slightly and I'm feeling much more fluid when I run.  In fact, yesterday's run (which was only 2 instead of 3 miles because I was exhausted) felt like I was back to running 10 miles regularly!  For the first 1.25 miles I felt i could run forever!  You know that feeling when you're in the zone?  That's just how I felt!  I've missed that feeling so much!

Today I have a 4 mile run scheduled.  It's going to be tough and I will have to have some walk breaks but I'm going to do the distance no matter what!  See you later  :)

8.44pm Did my 4 mile run.  It was a bit tough and I had to use my inhaler twice but I did it and I'm happy.  Also rowed 1,000 metres, just to burn a few more calories!  My other half has just offered to do dinner, as we haven't eaten yet.  I'm so glad about his offer because I just need to sit down now!!


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61 Days To Go

Yay!  Lost that 0.4lb again!  I really need to work harder at this, though.  The weight just isn't coming off fast enough.  I'm going to try to cut out my treats.  I usually have these in the evening, when I'm sat relaxing, which I know is just the worst time ever to eat bad stuff!  Plus, I don't really need things like mini eggs every day!  So, from now on, I'm going to try to have my treats every other day and cut in half the amount I have.  Let's see how that pans out.

I have a 3 mile run to do later (the one I didn't do yesterday) and I also want to do some rowing and weights.  The grass needs cutting, too, so that's more calories to burn  :)



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62 Days To Go

So, this morning I've put on 0.4lb.  I'm not bothered as I'm guessing some of this might be due to water retention.  It's stupidly hot here at the moment and most people are suffering.  And, anyway, I know my weight will go up and down on a daily basis but, as long as the overall trend is down, I don't mind.

No exercise this morning as I don't have time.  I have to go to the vets with a baby rabbit that my cat kindly brought in last night!  The poor thing is only about 2 weeks old.  It seems to be uninjured and, since it's survived the night, it's worth trying to give the little poppet a chance.  I do have a 3 mile run scheduled for later, though.

5.57pm Some sad news.  The little rabbit died  :( 
I'm going to do some rowing soon and maybe some weights.  I'm too physically tired to run, so I'm switching that to tomorrow.  I've been very out of sync today but, hopefully, tomorrow will be better.


Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

63 Days To Go and 1 Week On My Diet

I'm absolutely over the moon this morning.  Overnight, I lost another 1lb meaning my overall loss for the first week on my diet is 2.2lbs!!  Taking into account the fact that I've also built muscle, and muscle weighs heavier than fat, I'm bouncing around like a bouncy thing this morning!  If I can keep going like this I'll be bang on target at operation time.  Off downstairs to my gym now for a quick workout before work.  Then I have a 3 mile run scheduled for later.  Super happy today!


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64 Days To Go

Really happy this morning.  I've lost another 0.6lb!! 

Last night we went to Dicks Sporting Goods and I was checking out the small running bras I'll be able to wear after my op.  Really excited about this.  I'm fed up of having to wear huge hammocks that don't support me properly, do nothing for my figure and dig into my shoulders.

9.13am Just spoke to the Surgery Scheduler and I am definitely now scheduled for June 12th!!  So, so, so excited.  64 days and counting  :)

6.32pm Wow, it's hot today and another reason to think of getting rid of these boobs of mine!  My bra underneath them is damp and really uncomfortable.


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65 Days To Go

No difference in my weight this morning.  At least I haven't gained any!  I am actually 'feeling' a bit thinner, though, which is good.  I'm off downstairs to my gym in a few minutes to get some rowing, spinning and weights done before I leave for work.

9.42am Circuits done: Hill walking, rowing, spinning, weights.  3 minutes each x 3 times.  Feeling good!

Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

66 Days To Go

I've put on 1lb today.  Some of it may be my treats at night, or the Naan bread or it could be that I'm turning fat into muscle.  I know this is a common thing, as muscle is more dense that fat and, therefore, weighs more.  So I can deal with this.  As long as I don't put more on tomorrow!  I'm scheduled to run 4 miles today, so that should burn some fat.  Then, I just have to make sure I don't eat too much later.

4.45pm Well, I just mowed the lawn with the push mower and I must have burnt of so many calories!  I'm baking and running in sweat!  Great stuff....calories burnt and muscles built  :)

21.36pm Just got back from a late 3 mile run.  It's still hot out there but I enjoyed it.  I'm starting to really focus on my chest when I run now and just can't wait until I get rid of these heavy useless things that get in my way and make my bra cut into my flesh!


Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

57 Days To Go........And A Bit Of A Setback!

Lost another 0.4lbs!!  Woo-Hoo!  I'm really happy with my start to this. However, we gave a minor setback.  I can't go for 1st June because I won't have anyone to go to the hospital with or be with me for the following 24 hours.  My OH will be away on business!  I'm a bit upset by this but it has it's advantages.  I'm changing the date to 12 June, so it actually gives me a chance to lose more weight :)  Anyway, that means I now have 67 days to go.

Really enjoyed my exercise tonight.  Got a PB for 1m for 2015 (nowhere near my all time PB but I'm getting faster).  Then did 500m row, 3 mins spinning, 10 mins weights x 2...flat out.  Sweat like a pig!  Really need some food now!

Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

58 Days To Go

Woke up this morning and couldn't wait to get weighed to see if I'd lost any weight overnight!  Sure enough, I'd lost 1.2lbs!!  I'm so inspired.  Spent most of today telling people I'm booked in for my breast reduction.  I'm working on the assumption that the more people know, the more I'll have to stick to my diet and exercise so that I look the best I can afterwards.

Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

59 Days To Go

The first morning after my consultation, I got weighed for the first time since December 2013.  I wasn't allowed to look and neither did I want to!  I know it's bad.  I see it in the mirror every day.  My OH took note of my weight and said that I may be able to get 'somewhere near' my goal of 147lbs before my operation.  Somewhere near?  What??  Just how much do I weigh?!  This is worse than I thought.  I'm going to have to really work hard.....very, very hard.

Click 'read more' to see my stats for today!

The Journey Home and the Preparation

The journey home was strange and everything felt very surreal. Had I really just booked breast reduction surgery? Was it really going to happen after all these years? I wanted to be happy but, like so many other times in my life, I was guarded against it in case it all went wrong. My self-protection was kicking in again.

We began to discuss my preparation.  There is absolutely no point in going for breast reduction surgery when I'm over weight and plan to lose it because I'll just end up with saggy boobs.  I also need to lose the weight, as I'm now seriously getting back into running and actually have a 10k race booked in England on 5th May.  So, I need a strict and sensible diet and an achievable fitness regime.

I have no real idea how much I weight, as I haven't weighed myself since December 2013, when I was 139lbs.  I know I am a LOT more than that now.  Ideally, I would like to be around 147lbs before my breast reduction but I don't want to know how much I weigh now, as that would be too depressing.  So, we hatched a plan.

The Schedule and The Cost

After the surgeon left the room, the English Stick said I could get dressed and go down the corridor to the Waiting Room, where someone would meet me to book me in for my surgery.  I did as she said and, sure enough, an even thinner Stick came to meet me.  She took me through to an office where she told me the cost of the surgery; just short of $12,000 (£8,000), including the liposuction.  I paid a deposit of $2,000 (£1,300) and signed the acceptance forms.  She told me that I would need to have an EKG (ECG) before the surgery and that I could arrange this through my primary care provider for about $50.  She asked if I had any questions, which I didn't, and then she asked when I would like to have the surgery.  I decided on 1st June 2015 and she booked me in for the first surgery of the day at 7.30am.  I would need to be there for 6.30am.  What a culture shock that's going to be!  She gave me a pack with all the information forms in and sent me on my way.

The Consultation

Finally, my name was called.  I followed a stick-thin girl to the consulting room, where she welcomed me and went through the forms I'd filled in online.  No mention of why I hadn't told them who I work for or who my Manager is.  I can only assume that, as I suspected, it's totally irrelavent and just some means of collecting data to sell.  Infuriating!  Because of her edge on me with her slim figure and younger years, I was immediately on the defensive with her.  A coping mechanism I learned years ago, as a child, to protect me from emotional harm.  However, I was to be saved from this downward spiral of negativity; this lady is English and so is her husband.  A link that gave us something in common and something I could relate to.  Immediately, I felt my guard drop and finally began to feel at ease in this unfamiliar place.

I'm On The Way

I'd like to say I was up like a shot on this day for my 10am appointment but, no, I wasn't.  What's wrong with me?!  This should be the most exciting day in a long, long time and there I was pressing snooze over and over again!  Finally, with the panic of realising I might be late, I sprung out of bed and ran around like a headless chicken!!

One of my dilemmas was what to wear.  Sounds odd, I know, but it had to be something I could get on and off easily, including a bra that I had no need to fight with.  Because of my size and being a runner, I normally wear sports bras.  In England, this was fine.  I could get a good sports bra with full support that adjusted at the back for 'fat' days and 'thin' days.  However, in the US, they all seem to be over-the-head jobs with no adjustment.  So, at a 36E, I have to struggle to get a 36, barely stretchable band, over my huge boobs, wrestle said boobs into place and hope the back isn't going to ride up all day because I'm having a 'thin' day!  Needless to say, I didn't want to put myself through this embarassment in front of the surgeon!!  So, I opted for a soft, normal, over-the-head bra that was never designed to hold things like mine despite being the right size.  Because of the lack of real support and definition, it squashed me into one continuous, droopy boob.  Oh well, at least I could get it on and off easily!  A loose top and I'm ready to go.

A Day In Limbo

The following day was rather strange.  I was in limbo.  I knew I had the green light to go ahead with the consultation but I had no idea how that would turn out.  Would there be a reason why I couldn't have it done?  Would this guy who came recommended be ok?  Would he allow me to go from my E cup down to a B?  How soon could I have it done?  And, most of all......how much would it cost?

Needless to say, I had yet another restless night with so many thoughts and questions going through my head, swinging from positive to negative and back again.  The thought of being free of these things was so exciting, yet I was scared to get too happy in case it all went terribly wrong.

Choosing a Surgeon

This was an easy one.

On a trip to the US before we moved here, my partner had met a lady who works for a cosmetic plastic surgeon, local to where we were to live.  After researching him online, we discovered he is part of one of the top cosmetic plastic surgeries in the US.  An easy choice to go ahead with him.  Sure, he was never going to be the cheapest but, after seeing the horror stories on television when things go wrong, I could never justify costs over safety.

So, with mixed feelings of excitement and trepidation, I made my first contact three days ago.  The lady on the phone was extremely nice (I'm not exactly sure what I'd have done if she hadn't been!) and she made me an appointment for a consultation for two days time, which was yesterday.

Before I went for the consultation, I had about 9 forms to fill in online.  Nothing unexpected; name, contact info, height, weight, next of kin (reassuring!) etc..  Then a whole raft of questions about my past and current health, family illnesses, previous operations, current medication, lifestyle etc..  They also wanted to know who my current employer is and the name of my Manager!!  Really?  What on earth does that have to do with my operation?  I thought that was rather unnecessary, so didn't fill it in.

So, with said forms filled in (as much as I was prepared to go), I was left to contemplate my dream that was slowly turning into reality.

I had a restless time that night. 

Introduction

I've wanted a breast reduction since I was about 17.  They always felt too big for me and, after two children, they just got bigger.  After years of carrying the weight of them, my collar bones finally started to give up and I ended up with dips in them where my bra straps sat.  I've asked my various doctors over the years if I could have them reduced through the NHS (the National Health Service in England) but, sadly, the answer was always "No".  What makes things worse is that my rib cage is quite prominent so only serves to shove my breasts out even further!  Unless I wore figure hugging tops (not exactly what I wanted to do with large breasts!) I looked permanently 6 months pregnant, as my clothes would hang like a tent in front of me.

There have been times when I've even wished I could get breast cancer, just to get rid of the damned things.  I know that may seem ridiculous to some people but it's the truth of the desperate levels I got to over these lumps of unwanted flesh that were always in the way.

I've never been able to afford to go private for a reduction.  Well, I could've saved up over time, I guess, but I would never have been able to justify the expense with so much else in my life demanding my hard earned cash.

Finally, at 52 and with a better income and a supportive partner, I'm embarking on a journey I never thought I'd make and I'd like to share it with you.